We hear and read a lot about topics like “self-care”, “mental health”, “resilience”, and “the inner world”. We need help to better cope with today’s demands. According to a recent study by Techniker Krankenkasse, one third of Germans are sometimes stressed, and one quarter are often stressed.
According to a 2023 study by the German statutory health insurance agency AOK, stress as a cause of mental illness is increasing rapidly every year. If you do not want to be included in these statistics, or if you want to live a healthy and balanced life, you need to prioritize your mental health.
Work and life are black and white
As a coaching coach for corporate executives, I have met with a wide range of people in a variety of positions and areas over the years. For almost all of them, stress is something they would like to manage better. They often feel exhausted, unfocused, irritable, low on energy, and dissatisfied. And most of these people already have a solution: “I need to improve my work-life balance.”
I have had many conversations with people who think of ‘work’ as the dark side of power and ‘life’ as heaven. But this attitude is not realistic and does not help with stress management. It is not uncommon to hear about personal life, the house they are currently building, sleepless nights as a young mother or father, illness in the family, relationship problems, etc.
These people are working for famous brands that inspire many people on the ‘other side’. They just solved a complex problem and sold software to a customer. They may have moved to a new team and are adapting and contributing well to the new team.
Against this backdrop, the question arises whether ‘life’ really only brings us rest and energy, while ‘work’ only consumes our resources. And many people find it helpful to reflect on this attitude and clarify what is needed for balance or a healthy ratio.
Resilience to stress varies greatly from person to person. It depends on personality traits, learned behaviors (habits) for coping with stress, and current mental state. Personality is innate and can ultimately be changed only to a limited extent. However, there are many opportunities to learn behaviors and take responsibility for one’s own state.
How to figure out your energy balance
When I coach clients to build resilience in a crisis, I like to use the FiRE (Factors improving Resilience Effectiveness) model. This model is based on a variety of research and suggests a number of behavioral areas that impact resilience.
One of the main areas of action is personal energy management. How can I ‘manage’ my energy? How can I know exactly what drains my ‘battery’ and what recharges it, and how can I take this into account in my daily life? Finding balance in energy management is essential, because otherwise I will always be using my ‘reserve energy’ and there will be no way out.
There are many things that drain our energy: information overload, meaningless activities, work overload, lack of social relationships, always being on standby, etc. In my coaching, I often hear the following:
“My to-do list is fuller in the evening than in the morning.”
“I can’t accomplish anything because I’m so influenced by other people.”
“Some of the processes I have to follow are meaningless.”
Of course, it is important to balance work, have diverse experiences, and have enough ‘life’ time to relax and recharge. But is that enough to solve the problem? Here are the solutions that coaches suggest after discussion:
Realize your own effectiveness
If you start your day with a to-do list in the morning and don’t get any of it done by the end of the day, you feel inefficient, dissatisfied, and your batteries are drained. That’s why many people work in their gardens or do crafts in their free time. It’s because they can see and touch what they’ve accomplished.
But why does the list hardly change in the evening? If something unplanned comes up during work and has high priority, the planned schedule is ruined. If this is an objectively important matter and cannot be ignored, postponed, or delegated to someone else, the following method may help.
- Include a “flexibility for unplanned situations” item on your to-do list. These are actually part of your job, not distractions.
- When your workday is over, mark any unplanned tasks as “complete.” This has a huge impact on efficiency and satisfaction. Unplanned problems are no longer seen as interruptions to your workday, but as part of the work that has been completed. It’s not a waste of energy.
Maintain control over the situation
An unplanned problem is not always important enough to make you drop everything and make it part of your daily routine. Here are some ways to avoid wasting energy and losing focus by “exploring” projects that are under someone else’s control:
- At the end of each week, think of three to five topics you need to focus on for the coming week. Being clear about them will help you stay focused.
- Make sure you schedule time in your calendar to address these issues. Otherwise, your calendar will be filled with other meetings and tasks. Be consistent and prioritize the issues you need to focus on.
- When doing this kind of work, minimize distractions. For example, you can turn off your phone and go to a conference room, or turn off the notification function on your messenger. Distractions are a major factor in reducing your concentration. It can take up to 20 minutes to regain your previous level of concentration after being interrupted. Another way is to set aside time each day to deal with messages, emails, phone calls, etc.
Find meaning
In my coaching, I often talk about tasks and processes that are frustrating us because they lack meaning and purpose. Meaning is an important element of our satisfaction and sense of security. But what about the Excel spreadsheets that need to be updated regularly without any reason? In such cases, ask yourself the following questions:
- Am I willing to be uncomfortable enough and proactively work to optimize this process? Or am I just an observer, not taking the initiative to improve? What does a better process look like, and who do I need to convince to make it happen? What specifically are you trying to do to initiate change?
- Am I unable to control and influence this process? In this case, the question arises as to how much time and energy I am wasting on anger about this situation. Is this a reasonable amount of time and energy in proportion to the importance of the issue? Can I regulate myself and consciously reduce my anger and frustration? Can I remove myself from the group that is already talking about this issue?
Charging the battery
In addition to consciously addressing the issues that drain your energy at work, it is equally important to regularly “recharge your batteries.” Do you know what is good for you? For example, what do you need to do every day to maintain balance? This is a non-negotiable activity and should be an absolute priority. Here are some effective non-negotiables I’ve heard from clients:
- Start your day with a ritual and don’t read your first email right away. Your start-up ritual could be breakfast, playing sports or exercising, or meditating.
- Take a break from work and do breathing exercises. Consciously breathe calmly and calmly to calm your restless and busy mind. It’s like turning off your hard drive for a while.
- It is time for light, air, exercise, and proper nutrition. Instead of eating lunch at your desk during your break, take a short walk around the area. Record how much your productivity increases after your break and how useful this time was.
- Figure out what activities engage you and when you feel full of dedication and energy. Do these activities as much as possible or schedule them to help you manage your energy.
*Oliver Erbe is a certified business coach and partner at Leader Choices, a leadership and organizational development training services firm.
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