A date can go very well, you can feel a lot of chemistry and want to get to know the other person better, to meet up again, to find out more details about their life, their way of thinking and their way of doing things… but it can also end badlyThis does not mean that you feel like running away, it may also be the case that you do not like the other person for no apparent reason, that you do not feel that they are interested enough to have a future together.
While the first scenario is the desired one, which leads us to approach and say goodbye with a hug, a kiss or a second planned date, The second one is a little more complicated to manageespecially because no one wants to hurt the other person’s feelings, but neither do we want to embark on a relationship that we don’t want because we won’t be able to let them know that we’re not interested.
Doing things right becomes a necessity, but it is not always easy for us. For some people, saying no is a problem and for many others, They fear not knowing how to do it properlyensuring that no one gets hurt.
It is not always easy for us to say ‘no’, but there are people for whom it is especially difficult, especially because of the feeling of The guilt that this produces, for fear of making the other person feel bad. or because rejecting them makes you feel like you’re being selfish. It’s important to be clear about what you want, what you feel and your needs and learn to act with the other person based on that. Not rejecting them out of fear of what they’ll think of you is not a good idea for either of you.
How to turn down your date in the best possible way
It’s important to put attention on Knowing how to say ‘no’ is key to our quality of life. “Learning to say no is necessary to respect yourself, staying true to your goals and priorities,” explains Ursula Calvo, an expert in Mindfulness and Intrapersonal Intelligence. “Only in this way can you avoid ending up attending to other people’s purposes or prioritiesprobably neglecting your own.”
Being kind is always the best option, although if you see that your kindness can be confused with love, it is time for a change of attitude. to another a little more cuttingbut don’t give the impression that this date could lead to a second one. If the other person understands the message, the job is done, but if he or she is insistent, it is better to change the strategy to a more direct one.
“As soon as you are clear that you want to say no, Don’t delay your response and do it as soon as you can”explains Calvo. Sometimes we tend to drag things out, giving answers that are a bit ambiguous or that leave the door open for us to reflect, to be able to say no later. If the answer is clear, it is best to avoid leaving that possibility open with phrases like “we’ll see” or similar.
If this has happened, it does not mean that we have to accept our fate, it is allowed to change our minds, but, once again, the key is communication. “It is never too late to rectify”the expert reminds us. “The best thing in these cases is to explain your new decision to the person you had committed to, explaining your reasons. Communicate assertively and from the heartyou will generate more empathy in others and they will support your decision.”
The best strategy to reject a potential date is show ourselves kind, but firmIt is not necessary to tell him/her directly that we do not like him/her, but we can point out that we do not see a future in this relationship or that, despite how wonderful the person seems to us, we are not compatible.
Idioms that can help us to clarify things and avoid that neither of us gets the wrong impression, because without a doubt sharing our thoughts when we have things clear It will be the best way to avoid hurting the other person. or give us a bad time later.
You have to be firm and leave no room for doubt, but Don’t try to hurt with our wordseven if the other person tries to persuade us. Being clear about our feelings and being able to let the other person know them without letting them manipulate us is essential. Be direct and sincere and don’t take a step back. You made that decision for a reason and your reasons are just as valid (or more so, because they are yours) than the other person’s.
Source: www.cuatro.com
