Although intellectual abilities, or IQ, are praised a lot, it seems that emotional intelligence, or EQ, can play an even greater role in being successful in important areas of life, e.g. in studies, work and relationships.
Whatever stage of life we are in, it is worth devoting ourselves to developing our emotional intelligence, because EQ can be developed at any age. Yet, how can we improve our emotional intelligence? What can we do, even in the comfort of our own home, to better understand ourselves and others and thus navigate life more easily?
Emotional intelligence is the understanding of one’s own feelings and the feelings of others.
Intrapersonal intelligence
Let’s first look at the development of intrapersonal, i.e. intelligence within a person. It covers the ability to we consciously recognize and manage our own feelings. It is not difficult to understand how this helps our daily lives. It is often said that feelings are the “compasses” of the soul: those who know well what they feel, where the compass points, find their way around their inner world more easily. It is good if it is combined with the ability to handle these feelings, which are sometimes difficult and complex. As a result, you can be more stable in both your personal and work relationships. Some find it easier and some find it more difficult.
You may want to start with the following exercise.
- Sometimes during our day, let’s simply stop and think about how we feel. What feelings are swirling in us? It is likely that we have more than just one feeling at a time, in fact, we may have both positive and negative feelings at the same time.
- Let’s try to name these feelings!
- Perhaps we can also observe what physical sensations these involve, e.g. happiness – a good feeling in the stomach or nervousness -, sweating, etc. There are a lot of paper-based diaries and mobile phone applications that were created just for this purpose, to log our mood. These can help in the learning process, e.g. with the fact that we don’t have to formulate the feelings, but rather choose our particular mood from, say, faces showing different emotions. The more often and the longer we observe our daily feelings, on the one hand, we can get a more complex picture of the emotional experiences of each period. On the other hand, we will be able to identify and name the emotions inherent in us all the more easily. It is completely normal if it is difficult at first. It’s like a muscle that needs to be exercised – it gets stronger with practice.
- It can be interesting to even ask others for feedback on how they see us. For example, we can ask our loved ones what our face and posture reflect recently or at the given moment. What feelings do we radiate? It is not certain that they will know what is inside us, nor is it their job. However, it can be interesting to hear an outside point of view.
How do the way we feel and the way others see us relate to each other? Do we seem cheerful and carefree, when in fact we are experiencing worry and anxiety? Or when we think that we are overflowing with gratitude and love, how little of it can we notice as an outside observer? Of course, if e.g. we don’t want to show certain feelings at work or to strangers. On the other hand, it may be worth thinking about if the feelings that we want to communicate do not reach the receiving party either.
Let’s get to know our feelings in order to get better informed about the ways of our inner world!
Langer Viola
psychologist
The article was published in Patika Magazin Rejtvényújság.
October 2024
Source: www.patikamagazin.hu
