The kind of person who seems to easily swap one partner for another with little break between relationships. These “serial monogamists,” as they are called, may show symptoms of depression or anxiety and have emotional difficulties when they are between relationships or at times when they are alone.
Psychologist Annie Tanasugarn, whose comments were reported by Psychology Today, explains that this type of behavior is often based on deep wounds and can increase the risk of other problematic behaviors.
Growing up in unfavorable conditions, including abuse or neglect, can threaten the feeling of security, according to the specialist.
“Some may turn to romantic relationships to ‘fix’ or ‘save’ them from their unsatisfied need to feel safe. By consistently maintaining some form of romantic relationship in their lives, they may believe that they now have security and stability. Unfortunately, if a person has not addressed or healed these fundamental attachment wounds, they may mistakenly control or abuse their partner as if they were a ‘protector’ or provider of security,” explains the psychologist.
If a person has experienced abandonment in their life – either real or perceived – it can affect their sense of security and ability to connect with others. Abandonment injuries can have a more serious impact on a person’s life if they occur during key developmental milestones in early childhood.
“The result is that they may carry these fears of abandonment with them into their romantic relationships, which works as a double-edged sword and a self-fulfilling prophecy: the closer they are to a romantic partner, the greater their fears of abandonment, which can lead to abandonment.” , or to the point of being left,” explains Annie Tanasugarn.
This injury may resonate with an unsatisfied need for external validation and a tendency to look to others to reflect or support a sense of identity. The latter may have difficulty coping with the absence of a romantic relationship, as their fears and unmet needs tend to intensify.
“Including the negative affect of being alone, increased feelings of depression and anxiety, and difficulty tolerating autonomy – all of these can cause a deep fear of abandonment. A person who has difficulty living without a romantic relationship may actually have difficulty understanding who they are as an individual and may use a romantic relationship to identify themselves,” according to the expert.
If a person suffers from low self-esteem, not having a romantic relationship can make them feel “inadequate,” which can lead them to seek a relationship to confirm their worth and alleviate this feeling of inferiority.
“This pattern usually becomes cyclical and people choose relationships based on their unmet needs to feel wanted, valued and loved, rather than choosing a partner who is their emotional and psychological equal.” Because of this, they are exposed to an increased risk of getting into a toxic relationship or a traumatic relationship in order not to be alone,” points out Annie Tanasugarn.
Source: www.sitoireseto.com
