A good psychologist will tell you that it is good to enter into an emotional relationship with someone who is free and emotionally available (the first does not imply the second!), independent and independent, interested in the relationship, similar and – if possible – equal.
Deviations from this, minor or major, cause problems. Smaller or bigger. You can, of course, opt for the one who deviates from the recommended more or less, but – it is very likely that in that case you will be more of a psychotherapist than a partner to your partner. Those who treat their partners usually come for counseling or psychotherapy.
Interest in a busy, recently or always free man happens to many women, at least once in their life. For this reason, I would say, thinking through these scenarios in love is more than necessary.
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I notice that many women (really) consider those who are married to be busy.
In the opinion of these women, the one in the relationship is still free to choose and change – because he did not sign the paper. As if a married man cannot have the same freedom and take it for himself.
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Personally, I don’t differentiate between men who are busy one way or the other. He who chooses to stay with his partner is busy, whether he likes her or not, whether she is attractive to him or not, and whether he is married to her or “only” in a relationship.
I also notice that many women associate being in their mature years with various complications, so they think that mature men are usually or as a rule busy, “go along” with this or that aggravating circumstances and will not leave the partners they have for the ones they don’t have yet.
Many women, therefore, consider it completely natural and the only possible thing to enter into a race with another woman or to fight against her. Unfortunately.
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With regard to what was previously written – yes, more years of life (very likely) means more experience. Where there is rich life experience – there are also difficult, painful stories about problems.
However, whatever the case with mature men’s busyness, one thing is certain: people cheat because they want to cheat, not because they want out of a relationship or marriage.
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Those who want to end the relationship or divorce do so. They don’t need someone else or a third party to decide on that step, their own dissatisfaction and disapproval of continuing as before is enough.
So don’t believe anyone who says they will leave their girlfriend or wife after:
a) she comes out of a period of special sensitivity, which is in no way conducive to termination or divorce
b) the two finally sit down and talk openly about everything
c) children (a little more) grow up
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Know that it is not necessary for her to leave her partner for you, but for herself. And never, ever agree to a setup where it’s up to you to prove yourself worthy of leaving her.
A busy man is the least risky choice in a situation where you are also busy.
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If, however, you are only with him, and he is with her – it is not at all or it is written black. Keep in mind everything you need to have in mind and don’t play like you’re not even twenty.
A man who has recently been single is still, very likely, in a relationship with a partner he is no longer with. Psychologically and emotionally speaking.
As well as one who goes from relationship to relationship. If he did not initiate the split – all the more so and sooner. This, in turn, means that someone will get over it for a shorter or longer time – while they are with you. That you will listen to stories that you don’t listen to and be his shoulder to cry on.
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Of course, relationships also mean difficult times and facing content that you don’t face, but – the question to think about is how come you choose to start like that, with a person you barely know or don’t know at all?
How is it that you opt for what does not please you or hurts you?
It might work if you’ve been recently dumped yourself. Maybe. Then you can comfort each other and stay together, if you survive your and the other person’s cries.
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A man who has recently left his partner can also be recently single. In this sense, a different situation may or may not make a difference.
How come? Well, because for many people, making important life decisions is extremely demanding and difficult, not to say problematic. Many are indecisive and hesitant, never sure and in (panic) fear in a situation where they need to take responsibility.
The bigger the “bite” – the bigger the later questioning and doubting, “head banging”.
Was I in a hurry, I was/the impatient?, What if I regret/repent?, What if I just had to wait/be patient a little longer?
Many people are particularly troubled by the impression that there is no turning back. Of course, there is always a way back, but – the question to think about is how come you would rather go back than forward?
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A man who has recently left his partner, but is not (quite) sure about that decision, can go from his ex-partner to you – while he is with you. With your greatest possible understanding, patience and “tolerance” – the probability that his “walk” will last a long time and the final choice will still fall on her will increase.
Of course, not every communication he has with his ex is a threat to the survival of your relationship with him, but clearing up the unresolved, and thinking about reconciliation and giving the other person a second chance – while he is with you – is incorrect and endangers the relationship in which he and you are.
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Here I would underline what I underline whenever I have the opportunity: others have the right to speak and behave as they wish.
It is up to us to set boundaries and not allow the repetition of words and behaviors that make us feel small, inadequate, bad, hurt, offended or whatever. Silence is consent, and what you agree to – others appreciate that you are okay.
Always a free man is one who does not want, that is. is not able to (both) get married or one who does not find a suitable partner for a relationship.
The one who does not want, ie. it is not capable of (both) binding, it is often promiscuous in relationships that are “schemes”, “variants” and “combinations”. Often, too, the conqueror is endlessly charming and seductive at first glance.
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It’s not on the second one, because – he tells the same but empty stories, he doesn’t mean what he says and he doesn’t act in accordance with what he says. Conquerors are not difficult, but impossible to conquer. All those who tried were convinced of this, thinking that they would succeed and turn out to be “the only one”.
Before all women, the conqueror conquers the space of endless freedom. He sometimes enjoys that. I say sometimes, because – he is not really at peace and happy about the way he lives his relationships with women.
The latter is a special risk factor for saviors, seers of emotional wounds, benefactors, women who don’t have a hard time even when it’s the hardest, gullible and naive, women with weakened self-confidence and self-esteem, and those who don’t believe they deserve love and can be loved.
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With the always free conqueror, you are always and absolutely free, because you are not and cannot be in a relationship. If you want it and it suits you, everything is perfectly fine. If, on the other hand, you would like much more than that – it’s time to move on.
When it comes to a man who is always free because he (can’t) find a suitable partner for a relationship, the first question is how likely he is to get a potential one, i.e. meet a suitable partner.
Some men are in trouble: they work a lot – and at work they can’t or don’t want to look for a partner, they are closed and withdrawn, lone wolves, uninterested in using dating apps or even angrily oppose them, they have a narrow circle of friends – who make them look like them men, busy or not etc.
Therefore, it is objectively more difficult and difficult for those men, and the question is where they can and should start to change – and remain what they are.
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Of course, it’s not impossible and it doesn’t have to be a matter of compromise either – let what doesn’t please and isn’t an option stay in the same place. There is always more than enough space to work on greater skill, spontaneity and authenticity.
For a man who often has the opportunity to meet a potential partner – but never finds the right one for a relationship – no one is like mom. Pardon – good enough, inspiring, “complete”.
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In the eyes of women, such a man is too demanding and picky and, as such, side by side with a conqueror is extremely attractive and interesting to many.
Women like to see and know that a man can be, and the (most) desirable are often those with whom they cannot be and stay.
Of course, only later it turns out that not all of them can do it, but – none of them. But, as long as you only know about the first part of the previous sentence – it is appreciated that it should and is worth trying. Success, in that case, would be really flattering. But it doesn’t happen.
After all these, read the opening lines of this column again. As many times as necessary. And with them in hand and past experiences in your pocket, start the journey of telling new emotional stories. Keep your wits about you and good luck!
Source: www.sitoireseto.com
