– I had a match on Tinder, – says Yulia, – I “liked” him, he liked me. His name is Mikhail, 32, an IT specialist, in the photo he looked younger than his years, well, okay, I thought, we’ll figure it out. I liked that he also wrote a letter asking for a meeting, asked for a phone number. “He could have left his,” I thought, but then forgot. And in vain. A young man called me, cheerfully introduced himself as Yegor, said that he was from Mikhail, and invited me to “our club to organize a date.” Mikhail asked him about it. Yulia recalls that she received a signal from above: “This doesn’t happen.” Yegor caught her confusion: “We are not a marriage agency, we are a business contacts service.” And he invited her to the office for a cup of coffee. “No need to pay,” Yegor politely warned. The club for its own turned out to have the same entrance as… “Dating Classics.” Yulia, trying to joke, asked why this happens, Yegor’s answer caught her off guard: “And your chosen one’s name is not Mikhail. While you were thinking about going or not, he matched with another girl. But Dmitry chose you. Are we going to fill out a questionnaire?” Yulia was confused, Yegor was entering her answers into the questionnaire – “How old are you?”, “Have you been married?”, “Do you have children?”, “Why didn’t your previous relationships work out…” The girl tensed up.
“I won’t pay anything,” she warned.
– Dmitry paid for the meeting, – Yegor answered in a businesslike manner, – but I can’t organize a date until you join our club. The fee is 15 thousand rubles.
So the girl fell under the roller of the “matchmaking” technique or recruitment by a marriage agency, although she was instructed by a friend how not to “fall for it.”
– We don’t force anyone, – Natalia, the operator of the marriage agency “Classic Relationships”, answers on the phone, – but the one who signs a contract with us knows that the service package includes meetings twice a week or a month. We have an extensive database of grooms and brides, we actively “hunt”, we have a reputation, word of mouth works.
Although Yulia believes that, firstly, it is too early for her to go to an agency, she is young, and secondly, she is ashamed. Thirdly, “their rates are such that it is easier to remain alone.” On average, in Moscow, prices at agencies start from 25 thousand rubles. For this amount, the client will be entered into the database and one or two dates will be organized, which “accidentally” repeat Yulia’s scenario: “Oh, he matched with another.” Therefore, they then offer a VIP package from 50 thousand to 200 thousand rubles per six months to a year.
– I had a friend who got into a similar situation, – says Yulia, – the matchmaker advised her the “Comfort” package. This is when you work with three suitors at once, consult with psychologists, astrologers and doctors. The first suitor called himself, invited him to a restaurant, they had a nice chat, but, according to the matchmaker, “he went on a long business trip.” The second one also treated him to delicious food, but through the matchmaker he conveyed that “the parameters did not match.” The third one, the “business owner,” turned out to be an Internet boor: all communication was via the network, and when he saw the video of the “bride” in the cafe, he simply left the Internet without explanation. “What do you want, the matchmaker does not give guarantees,” was the matchmaker’s answer, although before that she had insisted that the girl was “almost perfect” for all three. Now she distantly reproached her friend for looking for a successful man, and “rich men also have high requirements.” “The matchmaker’s job,” she said, “is to connect ‘wants’ with possibilities, ‘face’ with reflection, and then… you do it yourself.”
The girl paid 170 thousand rubles for this simple moral. She deleted her accounts on Tinder and the marriage agency. “We’re on pause,” says Yulia.
Meanwhile, in Moscow and the Moscow region, posters and ads for dating clubs, written in gouache or even handwritten, are increasingly appearing on the streets: “For those who are over…” or “Where to dance for those who are over…”. Their popularity in the metropolis has grown after these same clubs in the regions became a soft alternative to marriage agencies. The service is also paid, but affordable: in the regions you can just dance for 300-600 rubles, in Moscow – for 1 thousand. The clubs have their own filter – age limit, with or without drinks, with food or tea, “No smoking!”, with local features – “for Muslims”, “for Orthodox”.
“The Marriage of Balzaminov” – light: the modern matchmaker is a manager, and she entrusted the “routine” to the digital. Photo: RIA Novosti
Moscow clubs “Duet” or Zoon.ru, if someone wants to continue the square dance tete-a-tete after dancing, offer a free first consultation or charge 1 thousand rubles. Then, depending on the services, you will have to pay from 15 to 50 thousand per year if you join the club of face-to-face meetings of grooms and brides. Matchmakers are strictly prohibited from entering.
– I think the demand for both commercial agencies and popular “over…” clubs is people’s answer to the eternal question: is it possible to buy family happiness? – says Vladimir Kudryavtsev, Doctor of Psychology and Professor at Moscow State Pedagogical University. – A matchmaker can sell, but only a candidate. And remember how “over…” clubs collapsed in the 1980s because of their focus on flirting without commitment. It is no coincidence that “over…” clubs have now begun to fence themselves off from agencies. In part, this is competition, but it grows from the understanding that money will not help you find personal happiness if you are not ready for it. Even for a lot of money, you will find not love, but a candidate for it. And no matter how much someone resists, spiritual work is inevitable. If “the dragonfly sang the red summer” or her chosen one “built a business” or a body until the age of 40 alone and both had no time for princes and princesses, then a matchmaker or a club is unlikely to help. First, you need to understand that the problem in you, then – what she is in, only then look for a partner. But here too, behavior can and should be corrected, but it will not be done by a matchmaker. Have you noticed? In people’s lives, everything is the same as in flora and fauna: as soon as you get rid of the parasites inside yourself, you immediately begin to blossom. Didn’t get rid of them? Remember, if you are a man: you must ask a woman for forgiveness right away, while she has not yet realized that she is fine without you.
Source: rg.ru
