Crisis of the 30s: Does time start to “run away” from us in the thirties?

It is the period of life when everyone perceives you as adults who are slowly approaching their peak, before youth begins to approach its end.

Those who have reached their thirties are expected to have understood a good part of life’s secrets and are ready to turn their youthful adventurism into material pragmatism, acquisition and creation.

There is an unwritten rule that thirty-year-olds should already be successful enough in their work, have started a family and feel comfortable in their own skin.

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However, although it is crucial for our overall health that we are satisfied with ourselves, the question arises whether we must also be satisfied with every decision we have made up to that point.

The first crisis for those who have studied occurs already in the first quarter of life – when, after finishing school, they ask themselves “what now?”. Many people at thirty know who they are and what they want, but that doesn’t mean everything will go according to plan.

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Thirty-year-olds also have a (self)imposed pressure to no longer postpone long-term plans.

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Women are already listening to comments like, “When are you going to give birth, if not now?”, and the favorite remark of all caring people on any topic ends with the sentence “It’s time for you” and “You need to get serious/settle down”.

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When talking about the pressure to succeed and that the thirties are the time to be happy and satisfied with how we have arranged our life, from marriage and children to career, achievements and wealth, then it is important to note the fact that happiness is not a constant nor is it guaranteed in any age we will start to be satisfied with ourselves.

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“I often hear that people try in a very systematic way to predict at what age in life they should feel contented,” points out Hannes Svant for Wax, adding that people wrongly expect that they will be at the peak of life’s prosperity when they are young, and that they will fall into melancholy in their advanced years.

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The feeling of happiness and well-being is a very subjective concept. This is confirmed by a study in which people in their thirties and seventies were examined. Both age groups were asked which age group was happier, and both answered that it was thirty-somethings.

However, when respondents of both age groups were asked to state their personal sense of well-being, it turned out that seventy-year-olds were more satisfied with themselves.

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For many people in every corner of the world, and especially in Europe and America, the idea that absolute happiness must be achieved has become a kind of self-help project.

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The question is how effective catchphrases such as “Embrace your passion!”, “Never give up!” and “Stumble, but don’t stop!” are in general, given that they are not concrete messages of encouragement or advice on truly overcoming life’s obstacles. .

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What is certainly a positive thing in the thirties is the feeling that we are more ready for challenges than we were in the twenties. Even when things don’t go according to plan, in your thirties you have enough life experience and enough “lessons” learned to not be afraid of obligations and obstacles that once seemed insurmountable.

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Psychotherapist Shoshana Hatch explains that the thirties are a transition period between the daydreaming of the twenties, when we feel that life is ahead of us and that we have the time and strength to conquer the world, and the forties, when there is stabilization and a true realization of one’s own qualities.

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Because we live in a time of “relentless optimism”, as journalist Barbara Ehrenreich calls it, we should not approach life’s problems under the umbrella of positive psychology, but rather focus on finding effective solutions, recommends Barbara.

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The thirties are, therefore, an age of life that can be as pleasant as any other, and this will depend solely on our willingness to allow ourselves to develop spontaneously and not to subordinate decision-making and risk-taking to the fear of the passage of time.

Source: www.sitoireseto.com