We psychologists constantly emphasize the importance of development, and some today promote it so aggressively that many have given up trying. self correction – because that too has become a well-packaged “lie” that is sold to the masses.
Work on oneself is emphasized more and more often as something important, but how much real work is there, and how much is the need to win the favor of the “audience”, is a big question.
I suppose that in the future we should become more careful with the use of that term, because it might push away new devotees of spirituality.
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Just as we have begun to believe less and less in certificates, diplomas, social networks and what is marketed there (as well as on dating sites), over time, work on oneself may also become a precedent for us – because it is increasingly marketed by those who have the least rights. to talk about it.
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In addition to these, let’s call them falsely “awake”, there are also those who are asleep and who subconsciously think that it is not bad to stay in that mode.
Joseph, what is wrong with those who smile and go through life without any need to change – who wave and are “satisfied” with such a life, because they don’t know anything better? – a client caught me for a moment with such a question.
In translation, what does this work on oneself represent and how much good does it really bring to our lives?
I immediately thought of men who ejaculate quickly, who were not aware of this problem in many relationships, only to find someone who showed them that they needed to work on it – to seek help.
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Their coming to therapy is not so much a conscious moment, because it is more motivated by the fear of breaking up, than by a sincere desire for personal change.
When they come to me, my task is to help them see the personal benefit they will have from better control of the ejaculatory reflex – that through a longer sexual relationship, they will also enjoy sexual encounters with their partner more.
Is that really what they need in life, to change?
How quickly you convince me of something – he said to me.
It is not my role to quickly convince you, but to better understand why it is beneficial for us to become aware of what is happening in our lives.
Is it necessary to work on yourself and how much?
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Life itself creates opportunities for you to develop, in work, in love, with friends, in sex…
Many try to avoid this possibility of development, because it requires that “painful” points be passed, that you enter the dark chambers of your own soul and admit to yourself that something scares you.
How can you escape from what scares you, when it has become a part of you?
Many have become adept at defending themselves, to the extent that they fail to grasp what is truly happening inside them – by some mechanism, they draw attention only to external phenomena, so the inside is a total unknown.
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When these people are alone, at some moments they feel their inadequacy, but very quickly they mask it with some activity, so they forget what they should be doing. It is the life they know, something that is their comfort zone, to which they keep coming back.
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However, if it means something to them, a partner relationship that they do not want to lose, or they can no longer endure the suffering that they have suppressed for a long time, then they agree to therapy. Then we slowly start to meet the unknown world, and gradually through learning about ourselves we come to new insights.
Josif, I didn’t know what was happening to me when I lost my erection, but now you have given me tools and knowledge, so now I feel much more confident – one client said to me.
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Like a good mechanic who knows all the parts of a car, how they are connected and how they function as a whole, so clients learn about the connection of thoughts, emotions, desires and physical aspects that affect their ultimate functioning.
In business, if we do not progress slightly, then we regress.
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It is the same in partner life. A man must gradually develop and harmonize with his partner, because otherwise stagnation will occur, and over time, decay. Everything that is not used or misused, goes to waste.
A partner relationship is an opportunity for a person to develop in a new way, not through self-centeredness and narcissism, but through the discovery and recognition of one’s shortcomings and their purification through true closeness and intimacy.
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The obstacle to all of this is fear, but when we allow ourselves to be discovered, a new self-awareness slowly begins – which is not reached quickly and through a single insight, but through painstaking work to acquire a new identity.
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That is why people avoid working on themselves, because it requires effort and perseverance in new endeavors to finally discover what exists deep inside all of us – and that is the original joy of which we are woven.
Source: www.sitoireseto.com
