A breakup can cause unbearable emotional pain. Despite this, the persistent and sometimes obsessive desire to reconnect with your ex or to quickly find a replacement persists. It’s like an insatiable hunger for affection, to the point of desperation. You may be suffering from love addiction (emotional addiction).
According to Carrie Cohen, an American therapist and former sex and love addict, author of Crazy About You: Breaking the Sex and Love Spell: “It’s hard to reconcile one’s feminism with a constant preoccupation with a man’s feelings for himself,” she writes, as were noticed by our colleagues from Psychology.
She also adds that “many behaviors are associated with love addiction among those who lack self-esteem. We may be seeking too much confirmation of our partner’s desire or love. At worst, it can lead to abusive behavior, such as harassment.”
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Claire Griffin, Relationship Psychotherapist and Clinical Director Portobello Behavioral Health in London, doesn’t like the term “love addiction” and prefers to talk about “relationship addiction”.
She explains: “To me, linking love with addiction is not logical. You can be in a very dysfunctional relationship but still feel authentic love.”
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Scott Lyons, holistic psychotherapist and author of Drama Addicted, describes addictive love as an overly romantic, immature, fantasy version.
“For those stuck in this pattern, true intimacy is rare, and their interest is often more in an idealized image of their partner than in the actual person. They often associate authentic love with anxiety and seek a destructive approach, an overabundance of affection akin to codependency.
Also read this: A tram called longing: What does rejected love teach us?
Often these “attachment disorders,” as they are called, are the result of past trauma, low self-esteem, or childhood issues.
Carey Cohen says that recovery involves thinking critically about our society’s conception of intimacy and being alert to the many messages and misconceptions that fuel the fantasy of love among love addicts.
Source: www.sitoireseto.com
