It turns out that some women fake it in order to have a real orgasm. The researchers surveyed 481 heterosexual women, all sexually active but not in serious relationships. The results, published in The Journal of Sexual Archivesfound common, predictable reasons for faking—but also surprising ones.
Women cited four main reasons for faking an orgasm. The most common reason was “altruistic cheating” – to protect the man’s feelings.
Second, fear and insecurity. The desire for sex to be a positive experience, not a negative one.
Fourth, they faked to have sex. Not surprisingly (although it’s usually further down the list!).
The most interesting reason of all was the third one on the list: Fake it to make it.
“Increased arousal” – faking an orgasm to feel more aroused was the most interesting reason. The women said that by pretending to have an orgasm, they were trying to increase their arousal level.
And you know what? I believe them.
The ‘fake it ’til you make it’ theory is based on the assumption that if you act out what you want to happen, sometimes it will happen.
Psychologists use the same technique on depressed patients: the act of smiling triggers hormones that make us happier, so the forced smile eventually turns into a real one.
The women in the study said that if they pretended to have an orgasm, their partner became more aroused, which made them more aroused.
Reproducing leads to a true orgasm – breathing faster, making noise, moving your hips, tensing your muscles – you might just push yourself over the threshold to the point where orgasm becomes involuntary.
But there are two key points to be made here.
First, the study was based on women who were not in relationships, so the overall percentage of “fakes” (80%) is hopefully lower in couples who feel more comfortable with each other.
It’s also best not to fake it to make it at the beginning of a relationship (unless you explain that’s what you’re doing, which is unlikely!). The reason for this is how will your partner ever learn to give you a real orgasm if they think they already do?
The absolute worst time to fake an orgasm is at the beginning of a relationship, which is, of course, when most women (and some men) do it.
Keep doing this and you have established a pattern of behavior based on deception and dissatisfaction. He (or she) will continue to use the same ineffective techniques because they think they turn you on; you will remain frustrated and irritable every time you have sex.
Having the courage to say “Actually, that doesn’t help me at all”, is not easy, but you really have to.
Communication is the key to good sex – and faking an orgasm (for reasons that aren’t so helpful) isn’t necessary if admitting you don’t have one isn’t a problem!
Source: www.sitoireseto.com
