How to start loving ourselves

We don’t judge ourselves by what attributes we have, how we behave, how we are in relation to others, but we love ourselves precisely because that’s who we are.

Danijela Stojanovićclinical psychologist and psychotherapist, PS Kontrapunkt

Even in the earliest childhood, as a result of unconditional love from parents, a part of us begins to form that enables us to do this later.

This does not mean that we should not change something about ourselves if it does not suit us, or if it makes our relationships with others difficult. It is good for us to change and constantly re-adjust to life’s changes which are continuous.

When we love and accept ourselves in this way, there are much greater chances to change what bothers us.

It is important to make a clear distinction between our human essence, which we accept as worthy of love, from behavior, actions, which we evaluate as negative.

We should not lose sight of the fact that no one is perfect, so we should not make too many demands when we want to change something about ourselves. We can focus on what we consider good. We can treat ourselves like a good parent to a child – with a lot of attention, tenderness and love. Praise yourself, reward yourself.

We begin to accept others as they are, we like important people for their human essence, inimitability. If something bothers us in the relationship, let’s remember that we can ask someone to correct their behavior, but not some essential qualities with which that person identifies.

We love them as valuable and valuable human beings, we do not ask them to meet our expectations. When we position ourselves in this way in a relationship, we create a good basis for others to love us for who we are, because we have a special meaning for them. They don’t ask us to change to make them happy, just like we don’t ask them to.

When we love ourselves, we are aware of our good and bad sides, but this does not affect our love for ourselves. If we judge that something is not adequate or that it bothers us in some way, either for us or for someone we care about, we try to change it, but we do not judge ourselves as an essentially worthless being.

Source: www.sitoireseto.com