The couple, a source of happiness but also of conflict and sometimes disenchantment. Often, after years of living together, it unfortunately happens that the complicity fades, that distance is established, slowly but surely, perniciously. And when we realize it, it is sometimes too late, it is time to leave, to take separate paths. To avoid getting to that point, Céline Domecq, couples therapist and behind the podcast The paths of the couplecreated La Semaine Du Couple during the pandemic. This year, the event returns from October 14 to 18, accessible free and onlinewith the central theme “Restoring complicity: the secret to saving the couple”. To participate, simply register. On this occasion, we questioned the expert on the subject.
“Quite often, couples come to see me citing a communication problem. But I realize that we forget the complicity”, she explains. So what is complicity in the couple? “It’s the holy grail of the couple, a search for balance. We experience a fulfilling romantic relationship if different pillars are nourished: communication in fact, but also the different spheres of intimacy, the languages of love, acceptance of others, non-judgment…It’s a set that makes you feel good in your relationship. » And to specify: “Some people have a good intellectual connection but no emotional connection, they are only in the mind. »
Also, complicity in the couple is a daily job. “When we are at the beginning of our life as a couple, in the “honeymoon” phase, we instinctively seek to nourish the language of love of the other and to please them. We do it instinctively to become a couple with the other, explains Céline Domecq. Phase two of married life is the power struggle. There, the complicity is cut off because we tend to count the points. »
Empowering individuals
To avoid stopping there and for your relationship to flourish over time, it is essential to ask yourself questions, “work on your vision ». “A lot of people wait for the other to move first and I fight against that”echoes Céline Domecq who tries to “empower individuals”. Because the romantic relationship is work, on the same level as your job or your parenthood.
Also, whether he is in difficulty or on top, this week is an opportunity to take time for your relationship. Alone or with your partner, it doesn’t matter, the important thing is not to force the other. “Some are ready and others are not. If one of the partners comes during the couple’s week and learns about how to nourish their intimacy, this will necessarily change the dynamic of the relationship. explains the therapist.
If you are single, this can also be an opportunity to take stock of what you expect from a possible life as a couple and how to avoid repeating past mistakes. Each conference lasts between an hour and an hour and a half. “It happens live, I allow myself to do so based on the interactions and questions from the participants,” specifies Céline Domecq. If you are not available at the moment, the conferences will be available in replay one week after the end of Couples’ Week.
For awareness
Monday 14, Céline Domecq will discuss the different forms of intimacy that can exist in a couple. The second day, it will be about understanding how to manage the balance of emotions between the two partners. What if one is too sensitive and the other too distant? The third day will help you tame the other person’s reactions based on their attachment style.
On the fourth day, you will learn to better resolve conflicts in the couple by identifying your communication style as well as that of your partner. Finally, the last one will address the fateful question: when is it really time to leave? “I have been developing support around this theme for two or three years because we are often alone and helpless at that time, we feel judged by others. We have a house, a husband, why would we leave? “, declares Céline Domecq.
And if this week of conferences doesn’t take you over that threshold (we don’t wish it for you), it could be an opportunity to realize that you need support in your relationship. The latter will allow you to make decisions, whatever they may be, while being at peace. “You must not leave in anger” insists the therapist. And to conclude: “This week is here to provide ideas and awareness.”
Source: www.topsante.com
