Sooner or later, to a greater or lesser extent, we are all faced with the same thing: we are responsible for how we feel and what happens to us. However, some people really struggle with it. People with so-called Peter Pan syndrome.
Eternal children…
How nice it would be if we were children all the time. Sometimes I catch myself reminiscing with the set about those carefree times.
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Not having to face life and always being able to rely on someone, while you do what you want most of the time, sounds like a fairy tale.
But no matter how attractive it is in the moment, in the long run it sounds unnatural, especially when you have an adult next to you.
Although Peter Pan syndrome is associated with men and is more common among them, it can also occur in women, albeit to a lesser extent, due to its general characteristics.
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Also, I have seen “partial” examples of Peter Pan, devoted exclusively to career, while the rest of life is anything but responsibility.
Peter Pan men are men in whose company you will feel very comfortable from the beginning. You might also do some wacky things or things that are out of the ordinary, some of which you literally did when you were kids.
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They are fluttery, spontaneous, cheerful and fun is what you could easily recognize them by. They are big dreamers and always have plans that they will realize one day (“when they grow up”).
They love freedom very much and therefore it is difficult for them to stay dedicated to one job, to find something they are good at…most often they jump from job to job and do not have a long-term career.
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This trait of moving from one job to another is also present in emotional life. They have never had a long-term relationship, most often they always stay in that initial phase of the relationship when it is the most beautiful and while the demands are the least, while mostly fun, passion and love are the strongest and where naturally we do not have to make an effort to maintain a relationship.
When it starts to fade and when it is necessary to make a little effort, they usually disappear. Mostly without a greeting or they are forced to say hello by the other party who desperately wants that person to do something.
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He avoids conversations about deeper problems, and often a lot of things are funny, even when they are not objectively funny. Everything is fluffy, funny, not serious, exaggerated, etc.
An important thing in our life and growing up is taking responsibility for it. Sooner or later, to a greater or lesser extent, we are all faced with the same thing: we are responsible for how we feel and what happens to us. However, some people really struggle with it. People with the so-called Peter Pan syndrome.
Also read this: Toxic relationship and its indicators
Eternal children… How nice it would be if we were children all the time. Sometimes I catch myself reminiscing with the set about those carefree times. Not having to face life and always being able to rely on someone, while you do most of the time what you want, sounds like a fairy tale.
But no matter how attractive it is in the moment, in the long run it sounds unnatural, especially when you have an adult next to you.
Although Peter Pan syndrome is associated with men and is more common among them, it can also occur in women, albeit to a lesser extent, due to its general characteristics.
Also read this: Toxic relationship and its indicators
Also, I have seen “partial” examples of Peter Pan, devoted exclusively to career, while the rest of life is anything but responsibility.
Many people think that Peter Pan has it easy. Personally, I don’t think so at all.
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Considering the moment of weak and very low frustration tolerance, i.e. psychological immunity, Peter Pan has problems with his emotions and their regulation…others are to blame for his failures, he often gets angry and has outbursts of anger, he has not learned to express his emotions, to deal with them and to develop them, and guilt is a frequent companion.
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This can often graft other problems, such as different types of addiction.
Many things in life are regulated by the law of polarity. What does that mean? Each plus has its own minus, that is, our personal constructs, even within the framework of reality, are given in complementary opposites, which are important to reconcile in order to reach unity.
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For example, narcissistic structures are recognized mostly by empaths and they are two sides of the same coin, while for Peter Pan, structures that really want closeness are usually “attractive” and become very desperate when they notice someone moving away or people who are afraid of closeness.
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Unfortunately, this usually happens, Peter Pan disappears from the person’s life and closeness never comes, the person confirms his dysfunctional belief and further strengthens his inadequate choices or thinking about himself.
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Peter Pan is an example of choosing an unavailable partner and perpetuating the fear of abandonment by challenging him again. In this way, a person tries to overcome his fear, completely paradoxically choosing a person who, instead of showing him the opposite, confirms what he already thinks.
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This is one of the paradoxical tricks of the psyche, because it is what we have learned and what we know, and we will not abandon it until the moment we have something secure to hold on to.
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Through relationships with others and choices of partners, we repeat over and over again what hurt us, we practically enter an enchanted limbo. For many people, despite being aware of negative patterns for them, it remains unclear why the first mechanism is not running away but staying.
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First of all, because the pattern was adopted very often at an early age or during adolescence when specific vulnerability was becoming and as such became deeply rooted.
Peter Pan syndrome requires continuous work with an expert step by step, with the cooperation of the environment, to stop hindering one’s growth.
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These can most often be overprotective parents, occasional helping and nurturing partners. Sometimes the lack of a meaningful and adequate relationship with parents can be the reason why a person does not grow up.
She made a decision at an early age to simply not grow up, because being an adult doesn’t bring any good. Of course, it is important to remove all potential distractions and obstacles to growing up.
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And for those of you who fell in love with Peter Pan… think about why you chose such a partner.
What were your previous choices and why? We accept the love we think we deserve.
Source: www.sitoireseto.com
