Seven reasons why some people are initially attractive to us and others are not

Research shows that it takes less than one second after meeting a person to decide how much we like that person and whether or not we are attracted to them.

For some, attraction occurs after years of friendship. Suddenly, your colleague or close friend may seem incredibly attractive to you, says sex therapist Li Noren.

– In other cases, it can go in the opposite direction, and the attraction towards your partner, for example, disappears only to reappear, just as unexpectedly, a few months later – she adds.

When it comes to that instant attraction that many of us can identify with, we usually attribute it to things we are aware of, like the way a person looks.

– It is not unusual to have a “person type” and that is what determines the “first click” when it comes to attraction. However, at the same time, many other factors are also involved, which actually affect attractiveness more than appearance itself – explains Noren.

She says that researcher Justin Lemiller addressed this topic in his book “The Psychology of Human Sexuality,” and these are other factors that influence instant attraction:

Closeness

We are more likely to be attracted to someone who is geographically closer to us, for example someone who lives in our area or a colleague at work.

Similarity

We are more likely to be attracted to someone who is more like us. However, similarity does not guarantee the longevity of a relationship or how happy we are together.

Physical excitement

When we meet someone we don’t know and we are physically excited (for example, our heart rate increases as a result of the adrenaline rush), it increases the chances of feeling an instant attraction.

Mood

We like people who make us feel good. Also, we love others more when we feel good ourselves, even if they are not the individuals who make us feel good to begin with.

Less choice

When the choice of potential partners is narrowed down, those who are present are seen as more attractive people. Likewise, when it seems that these partners are harder to “catch”, they become more attractive to us, says Noren.

Look

People of all gender identities are more attracted to people they think are good looking.

But, the attraction we feel can depend on whether that person is perceived by others as attractive and the context in which we are (that is, whether there are other attractive/less attractive people in the same room), explains the therapist.

– A person’s appearance is usually more important at the beginning of a relationship than later in a romantic relationship – she adds.

Hormones and neurotransmitters

The attraction we feel is partly determined by our sense of smell and what is called – pheromones. In addition, higher levels of oxytocin and dopamine can increase the level of attraction.

– So, as you can see, there are many factors that influence whether we will be attractive to someone or not – concluded the therapist.