They are not shy about seeking out lewd sexual experiences. But when it comes to the more sensitive side of sex, many men are too uncomfortable asking for what they want. Here are six things they crave but won’t ask you for.
Tracey Cox reveals to DAILYMAIL six surprising sexual experiences most men crave – but will never admit (and they’re a lot more ‘vanilla’ than you might expect!)
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They certainly aren’t shy when they ask you if you’d indulge in their number one fantasy – a threesome (of course).
But when it comes to the more sensitive side of sex, many men are too uncomfortable asking for what they really want.
Here are six sexual experiences she secretly longs for…
Touching and caressing
He says: “When we have sex, it’s very much a case of ‘put it in me and get on with it’. I can’t remember the last time my wife touched me with love, let alone caressed me in a sexual way.
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The need for physical touch is a basic human requirement for emotional well-being – but it’s the first thing in a relationship where one of you isn’t enjoying sex. If touching and kissing are considered a signal of sexual interest, you won’t do it if you don’t want sex.
I’m not sure people realize how terrible the consequences are when you stop having physical affection.
Also read this: Vaginismus – dysfunction in female sexual functioning
Without touch, men feel emotionally distant from their partners. Isolated and lonely, they question their physical attractiveness and desirability. Intimacy in a relationship breaks down, making any sex that happens mechanical and forced.
I get dozens of letters from men in low or no sex relationships saying how miserable they are that their wives show them no affection. Sometimes they miss touching more than sex.
Also read this: VAGINISM, when I can’t even put a tampon on because of the pain
Make his day: Tell him you’re nervous about touching him in case it’s misinterpreted as wanting sex, and agree on a clear, spoken “I want sex” signal so the gentle touching, kissing, and spooning can continue.
To see you naked as much as possible
He says: “I swear she can take off her clothes and jump under the covers in less than a second – and that’s the best chance I’ve had to watch her naked.”
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Men are very visual creatures – which is one of the reasons why pornography appeals to men, while reading erotica appeals more to women. Their eyes devouring your body while they have sex with you is one of their greatest pleasures – and one that is often denied them. The lights are off and under the covers in more bedrooms than you think.
Also read this: Are you in favor of threesomes?
Body image is a big issue for many women: we feel shy and embarrassed about our bodies and don’t feel comfortable being looked at. An admiring glance can be critical if you’re paranoid about how you look. Because of this, women often strip quickly when sex is on the agenda – sometimes not even while he’s in the room – and then hide.
Also read this: What can go wrong during a threesome sexual relationship?
Make his day: Ask him to undress you or do it yourself – slowly. Treat the nudity as a slightly accelerated striptease. If you feel shy or uncomfortable being watched, close your eyes.
To show that he wants me
He says: “My wife has never initiated sex in the 18 years we’ve been together. It sends a clear message: I’m having sex with you only because you want me to.
He’s right: never suggesting sex sends a strong message – I don’t want you. I have sex just to please you. I don’t like sex with you. I don’t like you in bed.
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Her initiation is more of a man’s most wanted sex act—it’s been at the top of his most wanted list since I started writing about sex decades ago.
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Make his day: do this simple thing – initiate sex when you never or rarely do – and you’ll change your sex life, no matter how miserable it is.
Penis worship
He says: “Women have no idea about the shame that comes with having a too-small penis. You have to laugh at all those size jokes, watching her face fall the first time you show it. Our view of our penis is so tied to our identity, it seems you can’t love us without loving it.”
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There is no female equivalent of a penis. Our genitals are hidden from view, breasts can be changed to be bigger or smaller, orgasms can be faked. His penis is not only on display, with evidence of orgasmic ejaculation, he still has no successful surgery to change the length or width. Viagra may harden him, but it won’t stop him from ejaculating before he or you are ready.
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Nothing, but nothing, affects a man’s ego more than the size and performance of his penis. For some men, their entire self-esteem is in tatters just because they think their penis is too small or that they orgasm too quickly.
Also read this: Sexual fantasies – what disturbs you in reality, sexually excites you in your imagination
Make his day: Let him know that his penis is the perfect size and shape for you and what he does to you with it is fantastic. If he has erection problems or any other performance problem, don’t overreact. Let him know that this is normal and that he should not be embarrassed.
Giving compliments
He says: “My girlfriend is constantly “inflating” me with praise. She grabs my biceps admiringly when I return from the gym; if something good happens at work, champagne and a celebration await me at home. I feel like a king. Many women don’t understand how insecure men are and how desperate we are for your approval.”
Also read this: Why do we have sexual fantasies – what is their purpose and how can they lead to a bloody feast?
Men are socialized to pursue women, using compliments to win them over. We are brought up to expect compliments from men: to tell us that we are beautiful, sexy, attractive.
Women are taught to admire men mainly for their work or financial achievements. It is not “manly” for a man to ask for confirmation about other things. When we post a photo, our followers immediately jump in to tell us how great we look. This does not happen to men. Their partner is often the only source of compliments, especially about his looks – so fill them up! Also, what a great father he is, how much you appreciate his advice, how kind and attentive he is.
Also read this: Freud on sexual fantasies – every sexual relationship is a process in which four people are involved
Make his day: men need security and to know that they are loved just as much as women. Aim to give at least one compliment a day: a mix of non-sexual (Thank you so much for your help earlier) and sexual (I swear, you’re giving me the best oral sex ever).
To hear that you enjoy sex with him (and not just orgasm)
He says: “I slept with many women and most of them were completely silent until the end.” When they think you’re about to orgasm (or want to), they’ll suddenly moan and groan. It feels fake. If they really enjoyed themselves, why didn’t they make noise beforehand?”
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The noise is audible feedback: a sign that the person you’re having sex with is enjoying themselves, not wanting it to be over.
It’s also extremely useful as feedback/instruction: something else men crave but don’t like to ask for. Moan when it hits the right spot, and he knows he’s found it.
Also read this: Let’s settle once and for all – what women want and what men want
For women, silence can be something we do to help us achieve orgasm: close our eyes and fantasize or focus on sensations until climax. Men don’t get it, so if silence is what you need to get there, let him know that’s why you’re being quiet.
Also read this: Does a man who masturbates often cum faster in a sexual act with a woman?
Make his day: You don’t have to talk dirty or scream around the house. But a gasp, a moan, or a murmur of “That’s fantastic / I like it” in his ear lets him know you’re loving the experience as much as he hopes.
THE NOT SO SURPRISING SEXUAL EXPERIENCES MEN FANTASY ABOUT
And here are a few you already knew about…
Having triplets: It’s the number one fantasy of both men and women with 89 percent of people voting yes, please! Straight men more often want a threesome with two women, straight women are happy in any case.
Also read this: What to do if you can’t stand the taste of his sperm
Anal sex: The assumption is that men want anal sex because the anus is stronger than the vaginal canal, so it is physically more intense. But that’s also because anal features often appear in pornography. It’s still more taboo than vaginal sex and is seen as “dirty” – and “dirty” is something many men crave.
BDSM: Bondage or power games, inflicting or receiving pain, hitting, biting – about 65 percent of men fantasize about BDSM.
Also read this: Everything you need to know about sperm
Have an open relationship: In Justin Lemiller’s famous fantasy research book (Tell Me You Want To), he found that 79 percent of men would have sex with other people if their partner approved. Fifty-eight percent of men and women said they thought about watching their partners have sex with other people.
Also read this: Side effects in sex: I’m disgusted…
To masturbate in front of him: First, it’s a secret lesson on how to orgasm. It also proves that you love sex and that you’re not doing it just to please him.
Source: www.sitoireseto.com
