An orgasm is an orgasm, right? It feels the same for everyone.
That assumption turns out to be wrong: orgasms vary from person to person.
It’s a bit like playing Pictionary. One person’s idea of a horse is completely different from another’s – but you’re both amazed that you don’t draw and imagine it the same way.
A recent study by neuroscience professor Dr. James Pfaus of Charles University in Prague identified three types of orgasms: wave, avalanche, and volcano.
He asked 54 women to use a vibrator that detects the force of pelvic floor contractions and bring themselves to orgasm over several days. The vibrator – a biofeedback instrument for the pelvic floor – is quite aptly named the Lioness.
Research on how women experience orgasm is scarce, but what little has been done suggests that we are more individuals than we are alike.
It could be that we are genetically programmed to experience orgasm only in a certain way.
But if, like me, you’re intrigued to expand your repertoire, here are some tips that might send you on the road less traveled.
Nearly 50 percent of the women in the study had this type of orgasm—a series of successive contractions or waves of tension that are released when they climax.
How to have one:
The key to experiencing the most common type of orgasm probably lies in focusing on the two factors that most predict orgasm will occur: repetition and rhythm.
THE RECIPE FOR YOUR PERFECT ORGASM
Like most recipes, it’s a case of trial and error before you find your favorite orgasm triggers.
These are factors to experiment with.
Ingredients: pressure, speed, body parts (tongue, fingers, penis), vibrations (using a toy).
Portion Size: Some women take an hour to get excited enough to orgasm, others can go from zero to high in minutes. Vibration gives the fastest results.
Method: Try a combination of techniques – tongue with finger inside, plug inserted before intercourse. Double stimulation also accelerates orgasm.
While it’s great to experiment with different techniques during the excitement phase, the key is to keep doing whatever you’re doing as you get closer to your goal.
Change your technique when you’re minutes or seconds away and chances are you’ll miss orgasm entirely. Get down to the bottom of the excitement scale, don’t shoot for the top.
If you want to impress a woman, the way to do it is not to show how many techniques you have mastered, but to know how to stick to the one she enjoys.
Mix things up:
Try the new technique for at least two minutes. Our body needs some time to respond and decide whether it likes something or not.
Stimulation that begins as an irritant can turn into intense pleasure with repetition.
Replace styles by forcing yourself to change the desired method.
If you prefer a slow burn and like things soft and slow, switch to firmer, faster stimulation for a minute or two every now and then, then slow it down again. Just make sure you do it early in the arousal stages, not near orgasm.
If you’re ready for a drastic change in intensity, try the opposite style of stimulation you’re used to, maintaining it all the way through.
This orgasm begins with the highest pre-orgasm tension, which then subsides as you climax.
Seventeen percent of women experienced an avalanche-style orgasm.
How to have one:
One way to influence your orgasm style is to change how directly you stimulate the clitoris – and which part you stimulate.
A little anatomy lesson to explain: The part of the clitoris you can see is just the tip: the glans. It is the area with the most nerve endings and is extremely sensitive to touch. The body of the clitoris is hidden. There are two ‘legs’ that split in half to form bulbs that run down the sides of the lips.
These bulbs also contain erectile tissue that swells with blood during sexual arousal to increase lubrication and sensation.
THIS IS WHAT MY ORGASM LOOKS LIKE
I asked women to describe their orgasms. Here are some of their answers.
Olivera (34) has been married for two years
“I have vaginal and clitoral orgasms and they are very different. If I orgasm through penetration, the sensation of pain develops and then peaks, spreading into gentle, pleasant waves that I feel deep inside. My vagina seems to spasm, but less violently than a clitoral orgasm. Vaginal orgasms affect a larger area – it’s like waves of pleasure are breaking through my body. All clitoral orgasms radiate from the clitoris. They are more of a euphoric explosion, an eruption.’
Ana, 23, is alone
“I can masturbate to a clitoral orgasm within minutes, but I also need to know how to relax with my partner before he gives it to me. This is because I have to concentrate, cut him out of the picture and focus entirely on the feeling. I need to focus on me, not him. I hate it when men try to talk to me when I’m trying to orgasm. It breaks my concentration and in the end I don’t have it at all.’
Jelena, 28, is gay and in a long-term relationship
Orgasms are the best: really intense, strong and powerful. When she starts, I feel incredibly sensitive and everything is great. The sensation then becomes sharper and is isolated around the clitoris. It almost feels like the rest of my body is disappearing and all that’s left is that small area. As if someone had cut off my hand, I wouldn’t have noticed! All I’m aware of is what happens to that inch or less of flesh.’
You need stronger, firmer pressure to stimulate the parts of the clitoris hidden under the skin because there is an extra layer on top.
Some women prefer to achieve orgasm by direct stimulation of the tip of the clitoris; others peak through indirect stimulation of the ‘inner’ body. Replace it and you’ll probably experience an orgasm in a different way.
Change the feeling:
If you are used to direct stimulation…
Turn down the intensity dial by avoiding direct stroking of the glans. Instead, wrap your hand around the entire vulva and move it up and down and from side to side.
Use your lips or ‘labia’ as a friction tool.
Also, try rubbing against a pillow or the side of a sofa or lying on your stomach to increase pressure while using the technique cupping.
Instead of using a finger or a sex toy, focus on gentler tongue simulation with oral sex. Or try stimulating the front wall (the bit below your belly) by choosing a position that allows his penis to stimulate the home of the ‘G-spot’.
If you are used to indirect stimulation…
Go back to an old favorite: circling the clitoris with your finger is still a technique for a reason. It’s efficient.
Use the pad of your finger to move the clitoral hood (the fold of skin that protects the clitoris) in a circular motion around the clitoris. Use plenty of lube and keep the pressure light and the circle ‘big’ to begin with.
Then increase the pressure and make the circle smaller and more focused on the glans as the excitement builds.
The tip you’ve heard before—to spell the letters of the alphabet with your finger or tongue—is still making the rounds because it’s a good way to make sure you reach all areas of the clitoris.
This not only helps to stop over-sensitivity, but helps to discover which part of your clit enjoys a certain type of touch the most.
Which could also lead you to this guy…
As the name suggests, this orgasm is the most explosive. It begins with tension in the lower pelvic floor, which then suddenly increases and releases at the point of orgasm.
It is the least common type with only eleven percent of women experiencing it.
How to have one:
Another determining factor in the type of orgasm you experience is your unique biological makeup.
All clitoris are different because there is no specific number of nerve endings in the clitoris. Recent research suggests that the number of nerve endings ranges from ten to eleven thousand (up from the eight thousand previously advertised), but we are all individual in how many we have and where they end.
This is why there is no “best way” to stimulate the clitoris. It all depends on where your nerve endings are individually concentrated. They can be densest at the top or bottom of the glans, for others they have more weight on one side or the other.
This is why the most amazing touch in a certain place is too much for one woman, but perfect for another.
Find your best side:
These techniques will help to accurately determine the intensity. But don’t be surprised to find that yours ‘bull-eye’ changes. Stress, your menstrual cycle, how excited you are – all will affect the intensity your body craves.
Use the clock technique. It’s a simple, cheeky way to discover (and direct your partner) to the areas/areas that are most and least sensitive for you.
Imagine a watch surrounding your vulva. The clitoris, at the top (closest to your stomach), is 12 o’clock, and the opening to the vagina (down at the bottom) is 18 o’clock. If something feels good halfway through, it’s at three o’clock or nine o’clock (etc.).
Experiment solo, using a vibrator or fingers, making a mental note of which area works best for you at different arousal levels. Or let your partner do the work while you report.
The watch technique is especially useful during oral sex. It’s much easier to say ‘Come back for four hours!; rather than doing the whole ‘a little up, a little down’ thing if it strays from your area of personal pleasure.
Use Kivin’s method. This is basically oral sex performed laterally so that it focuses on a specific side of the clitoris. Instead of lying between your legs, your partner lies vertically, so that your bodies form a T-shape.
Not only does the tongue focus directly on one side, but it moves in a side-to-side motion, not up and down.
Another way to change your orgasm style is to use sex toys.
Source: www.sitoireseto.com
