What kind of men are attractive to women today?

History and sociological research show that over the past decades, many couples have bonded with the understanding that the man will provide financial security, while the woman will take care of the home and the emotional aspects of raising a family. But a new study suggests that our collective shift towards a fairer approach to partnership is finally starting to catch on.

Published last month in Sage Journals: Evolutionary Psychology, the study, led by teams of Polish and Italian researchers, analyzed the dynamics among 148 heterosexual couples. The data showed that kindness, anger and intelligence play a key role in attraction, but also affect relationship satisfaction.

Kindness was especially highlighted as the most important quality of a potential partner.

“People have different preferences when it comes to romantic partners. However, both men and women value compassion the most in their partners. They especially prefer partners who are kind and understanding,” the authors of the study say.

Although both men and women ranked kindness as a priority in potential partners, the researchers found that women had more specific reasons why they found the trait desirable. The study explains that women value intelligence in their male partners more than men do in their female partners, and that women are more likely to perceive polite men as intelligent. In addition, women perceived angry men as less intelligent, which affected relationship satisfaction in both partners, the study explained.

The findings surprised the researchers, who hypothesized before the study began that there might be a “tension” between kindness and intelligence.

“Competence and compassion can be considered a balanced combination of partner values,” say the researchers.

Although more research is needed, a 2019 study published in the journal Intelligence suggests that most research on the topic finds a positive link between prosocial (empathic) behavior and innate cognitive abilities. In other words, the ability to understand others can be a sign of intelligence.

Based on this knowledge, women can be encouraged by the fact that they do not have to choose between kindness and intelligence in a partner. Likewise, the message for men is clear: emphasizing kindness can leave a deeper and better impression than trying to emphasize excessive self-confidence or a cold exterior, writes The Healthy, as reported by 24sata.hr.

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