If something like that came out of your mouth or ran through your mind during sex, we can guess what the next thought was: WTF?!
“Usually if we start crying during sex, especially as women, we immediately try to suppress the urge, like, ‘What the hell is happening to me?’ “Either, ‘I shouldn’t cry now—he’ll be embarrassed,’ or, ‘What’s wrong with me?!'” says Rachel Wright, a licensed marriage and family therapist in York. However, “even though it might not be your favorite way to behave during sex,” she adds, “crying is completely normal.”
“It is possible to cry and enjoy at the same time!”
That’s because, while crying is usually seen as a sign of sadness, it’s basically your body saying “this is too much emotion!”, any emotion, whether it’s joy, fear, happiness or pain, says Laura McGuire, sexologist from Florida. Wright, in fact, calls crying “emotional sweating.” But like all sweating, sometimes the tears seem to come at the worst time ever.
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If your partner seems confused, “being honest is the best policy,” says Sarah Nasserzadeh, Ph.D., a psychosexual therapist in Palo Alto, Calif., and co-author of Orgasm Answer Guide. Yes, that means opening up about what you think triggered those tears – like one of the reasons listed below.
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Whether you’re in severe PMS, undergoing IVF or pregnant, you know that hormonal ups, downs and shifts can cause real emotional falls, and this can happen whether you’re watching a commercial or spreading your legs. in bed, says Nasserzadeh.
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That last cocktail might have given you the liquid courage to ask your crush to walk you home, but you can also curse it for lowering the inhibitions that usually keep your emotions locked in your chest, says Nasserzadeh.
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Do you know why you feel so good during sex? Because during the rest of the day (or week or month) you are tense, and every movement in sex forces you to relax.
Sometimes there are no words to describe how deeply connected you are to your partner. Instead, there are tears, says Nasserzadeh. “If sex is a way of deeply connecting with your partner, your body may choose this form of release to convey your emotions,” she says.
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Has a relative or pet died recently? Or maybe you got fired from your job, or you still haven’t gotten over your last breakup? Sadness can strike anywhere and when you least expect it – while walking down the street, in the middle of a work meeting, or while tidying up the house.
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Your partner may come to this conclusion if you cry during sex, and sometimes they’re right. Painful sex may simply mean you need to slow down or use some lube, or, if it happens often, it may just signal any kind of change or (treatable) condition, such as endometriosis, infection, or inflammatory disease of the uterus. Stop right where you are and make an appointment with your gynecologist.
Tears can also be shed because of the type of pain you sought in the form of (consensus) choking, hitting, slapping or tying up. Bdsm sex is okay, if you have agreed with your partner. No judgement.
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Nasserzadeh has worked with women who have told her they cry during sex because they don’t feel like they “deserve” to enjoy it. “They feel that, as mothers, they should be focused on their children, not on self-gratification and enjoyment,” she says.
“Trauma becomes deeply rooted…and sometimes good sex brings it to the surface.”
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However, you cannot take care of anyone else if you are unable to take care of yourself first. “If you’re feeling embarrassed about sex or intimacy in general, and it comes in the form of tears, that’s a good indicator to explore that shame outside of the bedroom and see what it’s about,” adds Wright. Best, with a psychotherapist.
Maybe you’ve had a seriously long dry spell, or maybe sex has never been so good or enjoyable. “If you’ve never (or rarely) had satisfying sex, it could be so wonderful that tears come as a sign of excitement, gratitude, joy or happiness,” says Nasserzadeh. Let them flow, let them flow, as long as it’s nice for you!
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Maybe you survived sexual assault or abuse, or maybe something unpleasant happened that you thought you had forgotten. Sex that reminds you. “Trauma becomes so deeply embedded in our minds and memory that it’s hard to remember exactly what happened and something (say, sex) will bring it back,” says McGuire. Stop sex immediately if you feel like your brain and body are separating, if painful memories come up, or if you feel out of control, advises Wright.
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Whether or not you can put an end to it on your own, we advise you to seek professional help if you “cry a lot and can’t identify why, or even if it’s just once, but the feelings that come with it are a sudden fear or a sudden feeling of fear – suggests McGuire.
Source: www.sitoireseto.com